I see a lot of articles being shared especially those from Elitedaily and Buzzfeed, the 10 things you should do before you're 30, signs you know if he is the one kind of articles. And it got me thinking, we shouldn't take everything as it is, instead take it with a pinch of salt.
As June draws near I'm also turning a year older in a month's time. When I look back one year ago I was this girl who sort of knew what she wanted, working hard towards it and grateful for the things that happened. Given that 2012 was a whirlwind, 2013 was a great year for me taking out all the unfortunate events that happened. I'm a very restless person, that I admit and having conversations with various people got me thinking, what exactly do I want? Where do I want to be and what kind of person do I want to live with for the rest of my life? How am I doing so far? So many questions in my head, Danie thinks it's quarter life crisis. Which is probably true, I remember Khairie telling me that his lasted until now, and he's already 29 this year. I am also very uptight, still am (but not as bad =P) meticulous and a perfectionist. On a happier note, still kinda sociable haven't lost my mojo yet. Though at times I just want to bury myself in pillows. I have this weird relationship with pillows, cannot live without them (note: reference to more than one, two, three, maybe four pillows) but they also give me swollen eyes at times.
Anyway back to the questions. How am I doing? Okay I suppose, I've sort of trained myself in a you-gotta-swim-or-you-will-drown kind of way. Sometimes I wonder where I get my faith and strength from, my job requires me to give others' strength and motivate others. Day and night. I've also grown to be a lot more patient, my threshold stretches with age too. Maybe it's because the more things we experience, the more jaded you are, and you just take things as they come eventually. By motivating others, I feel happy seeing the satisfaction on their faces when a team mate seals their first or biggest deal. I also enjoy sharing what I've gathered from years of working in the industry with the freshies. That brings me to the second part of this blog post.
Learning. We are always taught that we will never stop learning. In fact now I remember (Ancora Imparo meaning I am still learning- the uni I was at practiced it too) and that's something I strongly believe should apply to us in all walks of life. Today a childhood friend shared that he needed to make a decision before anything could happen. And I told him that we always have a choice in whatever we do. We also make decisions everyday i.e. what to eat, what to wear, where to go etc. so that shouldn't be a problem. The question is whether they are good or bad choices. And deep down there's always fear that we make a bad one. But my answer to him was whether they are good or bad, we eventually learn and gain something out of it.
It's true because I've made bad choices in my life, I believe all of us have once. But if I could turn back time, I would still go ahead with the choices I've made because otherwise I won't be me today. As cheesy as it sounds, I don't want any regrets or what ifs to be floating in my head.
On another note, though dad and I rarely have long conversations it's always the how are yous, how are things, how's work whenever I visit home. Speaking of home, I miss home. I am however, happy to know that even though I'm alone in this city dad still knows the real me. The silly, goofy and young side of me. Why young you ask? That's because my day to day have always been dealing with various kinds of individual, managers who are mostly older than me. They say you need to speak their language and so most people think I'm way older than I actually am. Which sometimes sucks and it gets tiring. So anyway dad made me realize that you don't have to be with your loved ones to know that they love and care for you. You just..know.
And that feeling is something we grow through learning about each other and conversing throughout these years. Though there have been many hiccups, ups and downs I've learned to differentiate feelings with facts.
Because it's Daughter's week (I never knew existed) he commented that "Rachel ain't so bad, independent, sociable and hardworking, anyway she knows I love her like life itself" and that made me tear. I've been holding my tears back they don't come easy unless it is somebody that means the world to me. Sometimes I wish I didn't have emotions because when it hurts, it cuts right through me. So I guard my emotions with the strength I have left.
Where do I want to be? Honestly like my job I'm a nomad, really. Home is where my heart is.
I've had a lot of time to think about my life and what I want instead of what other's want and need, for once.
And honestly, I don't have a concrete answer. I guess a part of us know what we need, but not what we want. Physically, I want to be fit. Emotionally, I want to be happy. Mentally, I want to inspire. How so? I don't know. Still discovering that and I believe, I will continue to discover that as time goes on.
What sort of person I imagine spending the rest of my life with? With every failed relationships, we learn about what we want and do not want in our partner. Of course there are no ideal or perfect person. The one in my dictionary is someone we accept completely and who can accept us completely despite all the petty fights, flaws and imperfections and is constantly being motivated by the love we have for each other. I read the other day that couples who fight often are most likely stronger than couples who do not. But it's not the fighting that makes them stronger, it's what takes place after the fighting. The making up. It's coming to the realization that your relationship is more important than your differences. We learn to forgive and accept one's mistakes. You fight and you learn something new about the person and that's how it really works. Real relationships aren't perfect and perfect relationships aren't real.
Then it got me thinking. I want to be with someone whom I can say, "I don't want to fight with anybody else but you". He would understand me and my we-gotta-forgive-and-forget-and-enjoy-life-because-it's-too-short and we never know what may happen tomorrow kind of perception of life. Let's just say my views are all stemmed from my previous experience but I don't think it is any bad, in fact it's a learning that I would carry with me for the rest of my life.
We should never be complacent and stuck in our comfort zone because otherwise life would be meaningless and boring. E.g. You don't want to keep working, nobody grew up wanting to just work. I've also learned that we should constantly reinvent ourselves, strive to be better, to learn new hobbies, try new food, do things that we usually wouldn't do. Not because of anybody else, but for ourselves. And by doing so, we surprise ourselves, we discover that some things aren't that bad after all.
And life is..in fact made out of surprises.
June, please be good to me.
I haven't been scribbling on this page for a while now. June is almost near! So much has happened in the last few months, to be honest I wish I had a support system and someone to share my happiness and day with.
But I also know that life goes on and our wishes aren't always granted.
I've also recently started Pinning again, started my Fairy tales do come true and Home deco board. When I look at content I was posting years ago, I am proud to say this girl has finally grown to be more matured. Not that I don't get that everyday (my clients they think I'm at least 28) well at work I guess that's a good thing. But nobody wants to look older than they actually are =S I meant in a more subconscious manner. The things I look at, the random thoughts that are on my mind, the people I enjoy talking to, conversations that we talk about, content that I surf, people I find attractive and everything else seem to have changed slightly.
Work has been hectic as usual, we have a team of 9 nomsters now and it's very challenging working with people and understanding different methods to motivate one another. We just got back from our management retreat, I must say Penang wasn't too bad at all. Through Airbnb we stayed in a condo (it was so new I think we were the only few ones living there) near a beach, it had a gorgeous sea view.
My sabbatical is also due but I haven't thought of what to use it for. Initially it was Egypt but dad (for the first time) said nope "No Egypt darling" -__- so that plan has gone down the drain.
On another note Aunty Clara has left us, we were sad but also glad that she's gone to be with God and she has been waiting to meet our cousin Kyyern who left us when he was 15. The last time we met for Bak Kut Teh in Klang and that was the last time I saw her. I've been observing a lot and speaking lesser these days, I noticed that in funerals the older generation seem to be immune to death. I look at their faces and they had a solemn and straight face. Not that I expected them to be dramatic but it was almost as though it was the same as how most of us in our 20s can relate to seeing our friends and colleagues settling down. We attend weddings at least once a month, almost to a point that watching other people being happy is enough to keep us happy. Anyway back to what I was saying, I'm happy to see all our family members gathering together and giving each other support. That goes without saying that when shit happens, you can count on nobody but yourself. And perhaps only your close family members.
That got me thinking, my updated bucket list (for now) :
- Travel alone somewhere at least once in my lifetime
- Places I want to visit : Boracay Island in Philippines, Greece, road trip around Europe (so you name it.. London, Paris, Venice, Florence, anywhere near) and of course East Malaysia!
- Get a bike license (I've been thinking, it's time to finally DO IT)
- Volunteer at a charity home
- Go skinny dipping
- Go for one of those carnivals in Rio
- Own a place of my own and decorate it however I like
- Go dancing in the rain
- Skydiving and cliff diving
- Ride a Vespa and explore Rome
- Meet someone who understands the dustiest corners of my soul and still loves me deeply
- Touch a penguin without cages or barriers between us
- Live by the beach on an island for a month at least
At the moment I'm jaded *cues Aerosmith*
There comes a time when you have had enough of the bad and negative. You choose to shut off and ignore the world. Put on your headphones, pretend that you're living in a world of your own. A happy world of your own. That's how I'm feeling at the moment.
People who know me describe me as a strong person. Frankly speaking, strength is my only hope when I hit rock bottom. My favourite saying goes like this, "When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up."
If hope leads you nowhere, what else to do but be strong? Strong. Tough. Sometimes to a fault. I kind of believe in horoscopes and what it says about a person. As a Leo, I'm born light hearted, optimistic and headstrong. It might not be a good thing at times because when you're light hearted and forgetful, it gets you into deep shit. When you're optimistic, you always try to come back on top like nothing can stop you.
So how to be strong, you ask? From my humble opinion.
1. Think happy thoughts. Be positive, tell yourself it is not the end of the world even if your world crumbles, you can rebuilt version 2.0
2. Depending on the circumstances on why you are feeling down. Think about why certain things are happening and tell yourself that everything happens for a reason. And it may be a good thing. You might not see it now, but you will eventually.
3. Occupy your time with things that will make you happy. Exercise, play games, spend time with people who care about you. This time it is all about YOU and loving YOURSELF. Stop the whole giving and caring for others for one moment, be selfish and think about what makes YOU happy today. And do it.
4. Reading happy articles, quotes and watching funny videos help me. They just do.
5. Ironically, anything that gives me hope generally helps me to be stronger. Think about what other hardship and problems people around the world are facing. And you'll find that you're not alone.
6. Remember if you are sad, there is someone sadder. And if you're weak, there's someone weaker. So be the stronger one.
They say your mind is the most powerful. So tell yourself you will be strong, and you will be.
All of the above are stemmed from my personal experiences having gone through some pretty shitty times over again. Kthxbai.
This page has been left unattended for the longest time. I've never really enjoyed writing unless it is to express what's on my mind. So this month marks a new beginning for me. I swear life always surprises you when you least expect it and I have to pick myself up a few years ago I was exactly how I felt right now and I wrote it all down, somewhere that I never want to reopen and read again.
As a young girl I dreamt about the day I would meet prince charming and walk down the aisle with the man of my dreams in a nice pastel gown. I dreamt of a small simple ceremony with only loved ones and friends. I dreamt of the one who'd guide me and love me no matter how bad things can get. Because naive as I am, I believed wholeheartedly that love conquers.
But that thought was thrown away after going through a tough time back then, so when that happened this girl felt there was no more giving and told herself to be a little more selfish. Because there is no one out there she can count on but herself. Then came one day she met a boy whom all he did was make her laugh and believed again. It didn't take long before they fell in love, head over heels and butterflies in the stomach pure like the love we find in high school. He gave her strength and faith again to give this fairytale a chance, although her stubborn mind would always deny the fact that she believes in fairytale any more.
They built memories, laughed, fought and loved like two young souls in love. And that was enough.
Until one fine day when the boy realizes that maybe it is afterall meaningless and thinking of what might go wrong, envisioning every domino that could fall because of a setback is not worth any heart ache and pain. A friend once told me that men and women function differently in relationships. Women give minimal at the beginning and a hundred percent as it grows, but men on the other hand starts off with full fuel one hundred percent slowly deducting every pinch of fault and flaws until they eventually reach zero. But if that were true, why do people still believe in happily ever after?
The last twenty five years of my live have taught me that nothing ever goes the way we planned and think. Be it the good or bad. When we plan for the worst we realize it is not that bad afterall. And when we plan for the good, it sometimes disappoints us. Whether it is finding the right job, university, courses or partner, the fact remains that none of us would know what would happen. When has things ever go the way we want to, anyway?
But life in my eyes is fragile and precious. Imagining and worrying about the future sometimes serves no purpose, that's when I remind myself to live life without regrets and just be happy. And that's all I want to be at this moment, right now.
I've always been a conventional consumer. When it comes to mobile phones I would rather just stick with the usual. From the chunky Alcatels to good old reliable Nokia (pretty sure most of us owned one before) to the Blackberry (though short lived, I still miss the keypad much) to my current Samsung touchscreen that beams out pretty, clear images and videos - almost as good as any cameras out there.
So here's my S4 story.
I'm currently using the Samsung Galaxy S3 but Samsung was nice enough to loan a test unit of the new S4!! I've always been sceptical about touch screen phones (never owned an Apple product ever too) but after using the Galaxy range, I thought why not? Must be a good chance to try the phone out and share what I love about the S4. My review wouldn't be very much to the technical side but more from the consumer point of view - or rather a girl's point of view ;)
At first glance, there is not a huge difference between the S3 and S4.
So what's new about this phone? (wait for it...)
- It has a better camera (13MP!!) --you really don't need a camera if you're like me, love carrying your phone everywhere with you instead of a bulky camera
This is my favourite (aside from the Air Gesture/Air View function of the phone). The S4 camera comes with pretty cool features (I heard they are also exclusive to this model only)
Sound & Shot : You can record a sound with your photo
Dual Camera Shot : Take photos with both your rear and front camera (at the same time!!) which means you can actually snap a photo of yourself #selfie and your friends at the same time.
Like what we did here :
Best face : Takes a few shots and you can select the best selfie
- The S4 also has a larger display (means good quality with higher resolution)
- Battery life is also better and last longer than the S3
- Slimmer and slightly lighter too
The accessories that come with it :
Everything looks pretty in white. The S4 also has a lot more built it features and another feature that I really love is the Air Gesture and Air View function.
With the Air Gesture tool, you can switch between pages, read emails, accept / reject calls and control your music. While the Air View allows for users to use fingers and movement to control photos you are viewing, zoom and magnify your viewing page, and many more cooler functions. Though I personally do not use this a lot, it could be useful if you are on your phone docked in a stand or using the bluetooth.
In conclusion, the S4 indeed has a lot of cooler features compared to the S3 necessary, or not. But if you are looking for a great phone with reasonable price, the S3 does not fail in comparison. However if it is within your budget, this would be a great phone to have and keep in this smart phone era. Be it the larger screen, newer features or smaller size it really varies depending on your own personal usage and users experience.
Everyone has probably heard of the cycle.
On the phone. After talking about how sucky the day was and stories about a friend's misadventure. Here's how the conversation went.
Me: "girls.. they are attracted to jerks. They never learn until they get their heart broken. And then you date a nice guy but you think he's boring"
Brian: " ya la, all you girls, like dating jerks only. It's a cycle, you date nice guy after that. Find him boring, then go back to dating someone (also a jerk) because you think he's exciting."
Me: "then when do you ...stop the cycle of getting your heart broken, dating a nice guy and then back to a jerk again?"
Him: "..when you find a jerk that is tolerable"
Him: "just like for guys, we dig bitches because they're hot. But then bitches leave us for another guy and we find a nice girl, but she's boring and too nice for us.. then we find someone more exciting, the cycle remains"
Me: "So you stop when you find a tolerable bitch?"
Him: "Yes, or someone with a bit of both"
Me: "How do you know if she's tolerable?"
Him: "if you can talk to her without feeling like you need to slap her on the face"
Both roll on bed laughing.
I know it has been ages since I last blogged, feeling kinda bad right now. I'm sorry dear blog, promise i'm doing my best at balancing everything that's going on right now. And that includes... making sure we get our invites to catch Iron Man 3 (heck! nothing can stand in the way!)
Robert Downey Jr has always been
delicious charming and talented (gosh, he's got such a great sense of humour) he's in my top 10 (okay irrelevant I know, moving on..) Why would we not look forward to this upcoming blockbuster? nothing could go wrong with Gwyneth Paltrow as the leading actress in this action film.
This entry my friend, is about how I would customize my Iron Man suit and what to name it in order to win my pair of invites (pretends I don't see this entry after this nyek nyek) to the premier in two days time. I know I'm a few days late, but Annie if you are reading this.. see I just gave you a shoutout heehee *puppy eyes*
Well, Brian and I were discussing and he said, "why not add in a feminine touch? you've always liked fashion so add those girly stuff".. in my head I thought "yea..and then call it one of those Powerpuff girls."
Can you imagine? "I'm saving the world kabahhbooomm"
If I could customize my Iron Man suit, these will be the main unique selling points (USPs) :
a) Anti Perspiration material
With all that flying about and crashing on hard surfaces, you think Iron Man would sweat like Ac qua Di Gio? of course not. And I'm anal about scent, a man should always smell good. Even when sweating. To aid this, perhaps my customized suit would have an in-built fan so that it is always kept at room temperature >.<
b) Quick change elements
Wouldn't it be great to fight enemies while looking good? By looking good I don't mean just the hair or physique, but the clothing (or outerwear) that makes my suit. If only the steel could function like how the quick-change does it.
One moment I'm black, the next I'm white. How awesome is that? One moment I'm ready for a party, next I'm at the battlefield.
My costume would also be able to camouflage to conceal myself from enemies.
What about a sensor to detect emotions and moving objects apart from having the be made out of super heavy duty material to take on huge ass monsters? Sounds like a plan. Not only would I be able to camouflage, I can turn into different sizes and shapes.
c) What do I name it?
The coolest outfit on earth. It's called the Bloomer.
(taken from Amelia Bloomer, an activist who began to wear costume in the early 1880s, which promoted fashion in women and in dress standards for women that would be less restrictive in everyday activities. Read more here)