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Rachel Kristen
live, love, laugh. Just the way I like it.
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Pick up lines and other stories
Friday, June 4, 2010, 6:39 PM
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What is the funniest, corniest, and cheesiest thing a guy has ever said to you? I heard this on the radio this morning and thought it would be funny to share and gather your opinions.
“Can you show me the way to the police station?”
“Someone just stole my heart.”

Laughs. How do you expect us, girls to react to that? Well for the mean time let’s keep it to just straight people. It’s farkin funny, but I believe it took the man a lot of courage to say something like that. Either that or he’s probably immune to people’s reaction. Pick up lines are useful not only in bars and clubs. Heck, you don’t need no pick up lines in clubs, a charming smile with an offer for free drinks would do the trick.
And guys, you must be wondering, what works and what doesn’t?
“weee weeet, zzzeeewwttt inserts squeaking noises* No, we do not like that. Absolutely not.
Call your dogs that, I’d be surprise if they react to you without food in your hands.
I won’t say I’ve experienced too many awkward conversations, but here are some of them:



#1
Have we met before, because you look familiar?
This is the most common pick up line, ever. Then some would add in sentences like “you look like someone I know”, “are you from insert name of school/location”, even better, “your eyes/lips/hairdo looks … I must have seen you some where before”
Okay, it gets annoying after a while. Yes you’ve seen me here, there and there again and now we meet again. But using body parts like eyes, lips, hairdo is a no-no -____- worst still, you might freak the girl out dude.
#2
Did you fart? Because you just blew me away
This one made me laugh and I went, “WHAT?!”  with a smile.
Girls like men with a great sense of humour. Someone who can make them laugh. Hell yeah, that made me laugh out so loud that I’d remember his name and lame jokes.
#3
I lost my number can I have yours?
Tricky one. Err pauses and thinks before deciding recklessly because that could lead to impending trouble. What kind of trouble? Those that would cause you your time and sleep. Well it wouldn’t be wise to give someone your number and end up getting disturbing calls for no reasons, worst still if you are not interested. Even if it’s just SMS. For situations like this, I don’t know if a guy is just trying his luck or he truly got mugged so bad that he can’t afford another number. To make this sound worse, he’s got no courtesy to offer his number, again?
What most girls (or should I say less desperate ones) would usually do is to ask for his number instead of giving him hers. “How about you give me yours and I’d call you instead” :)
#4
Are you high on something, cause girl, you’re hyper/bubbly/ inserts positive comments
or
I really like that inserts clothing, fragrance, any feminine item you’re wearing
This is flattering in a way. A little bit of sarcasm plus sweet talk would do the trick. Though we know you’re a smooth talker, I believe ladies appreciate it when you take the time to notice something about us. Genuine compliments that is.
#5
You dropped something, My Jaw!
This is lame, seriously. What do you expect us to say? Do you need a fix? -___-‘’
#6
From a movie:
I don’t know if I should say this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend
Trust some people to use it.
This is cute. Nothing too breath taking but it would work only with those that are easily captivated by a man’s charm. Could help if the guy is all dressed up and smells good (very subjective inserts favourite frangrance)
#7
This one is epic.
“I’m not interested, I’m sorry you’re just not my cup of tea” –trying to insert some humour alongside rejection
And he answered, “Well, I could drink you off instead”
-_____-
We’re still friends though, good friends some more hehehehe I hope he doesn’t read this XP

Check out some funny/smart/lame pick up lines I found:
# Excuse me, we have a problem here. You see that table over there? It has one too many chairs at it. Would you like to join me?
# If I followed you home, would you keep me? Attempts:1 Success:1 o_O
# I only have three months to live  Attempts: 27 -____- Success: 14 WTF?!
# Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot) Attempts: 2 Success: 2
See, told you ladies wouldn’t mind free drinks :P
# So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) Because I'm gonna ask you out.
# It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? (Is it really your birthday?) No, but how about a kiss anyway?
Attempts: 5 Success: 5
# Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date? *bishhh punches face*

As I'm writing this, a friend of a friend is introducing me to this book: The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
Live testimonial: "It really works wei, all your pick up line sucks! This book teaches you on a chapter basis. In chapter four, it tests you by asking you to approach a random chick and it worked for me!"
So guys, (or ladies) read the book review The Game by Neil Strauss.

So what’s your most awkward, cheesiest, and funniest
pick up moment like? Would love to find out kinkier pick up lines hehehe share the love at the comment link below.
Hmm could it be a guy hitting on another man, I’ve always wondered how gay men hit on each other.
Reminiscing and analyzing pick up lines are so fun , okay til next time. Hope you enjoyed pick up lines and other stories.
Have a great weekend! :)


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