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I guess that it is time. When you are in love, sweet words mean the world to you. They lighten up your days and sometimes you feel as though you are floating on a bed of roses. And all you need is a hug to make things a little better. But when things don’t work out, you feel like the world is on your shoulders, you lose your balance and you stumble. All the sweet words, they are gone like a gust of wind.
Sometimes I can’t help but to wonder, what if all these did not exist. What would it have been like? Things would definitely be a lot different today. But I knew from day one how it would be like, what I would have to go through, the judging and perhaps the disapproval. But I am stubborn, after all a Leo fights for what it believes in till the end comes. So I gave my effort, my sacrifice and my faith one last shot, just to find them shattered within days. What a fragile heart. I thought I would not feel this way again because it would not happen, with you. Four years ago was miserable, as though I have been defeated and numb. What ever happened to the words of encouragement, the courage, and determination? Gone is the word. I thought that if I tried hard, that if feelings were mutual, and if I had very least the support from my loved ones then everything would work its way out. It was probably just me being naive because I learned the hard way that it takes two hands to clap.
A girl being a girl, she needs security and love. She needs care, acceptance, and respect. There is only so much that one can do, to sacrifice and strive, all in the name of love. Constantly, I remind myself never to take for granted what God have given me. And your love especially, meant the world to me. Alas, I don’t know what is contained in that heart and mind, but I pray that one day you will find courage. The courage to love and I hope you will find what you need. I am glad to have walked down this path. So, here are my last words to you, like the song you dedicated to me,
That is all I am taking with me,
Goodbye, please don’t cry,
We both know that I’m not what you need.
I will always love you.
I hope life will treat you kind,
And I hope you have all that you dreamed of,
And I wish you joy and happiness,
But above all this, I wish you love.