Rachel Kristen
live, love, laugh. Just the way I like it.
It has never been easy picking up the pieces and obstacles are unavoidable. We get annoyed, we get upset and then we bounce back up. I guess most of us have been through tough times. Whether it is failing an exam, losing someone in our life or simply disappointed over what we could have. A few months down the road, we then look back and laugh at all that has happened. This blog exist so I can pen down all my thoughts before I forget. Somehow my mind seems to be able to block out chunks of memories that I choose not to remember. Afraid that I would completely forget how this feels I'm writing it down. And of course so that I can laugh reading back my old entries, and that my kids and descendants can learn more about my life.
I thought I would be getting wasted, working all day, and partying my nights away to ease the pain. But to my surprise, this time it is different. Guess I have matured with time. Pft. A part of me still lingers for the good times. The good old days when you were my listening ears and realizing that self inflicted pain won't do any good.
Life goes on and the minutes fly by even if we stood still and do nothing. So a part of me thought, "Why waste time. Instead, make full use of it. Travel and see the world. Do what you have always wanted to do, Rach! Don't let people stop you (that includes figure skating!)," said a little voice in my head. But I don't want to do it alone *crushes voice*
I have in mind a to do list before I die, and hopefully with whatever time I have left, be it 10, 20 or 50 years I just want to be happy and not live to regret.
I am not perfect and I have flaws. But what matters most is that there is willingness to admit my faults and to strive to be better. Why stay grounded in our comfort zone just because we are brought up a certain way. I'm a realist not a traditionalist. Back in high school my friends called me the "blusher machine". That was because I used to laugh so hard that my face would turn red almost instantly. So red that some even called me "tomato face". Anyway, my point being that I want to be like that again. I am after all me. And I have feelings too.
Why be affected by what others think, why get upset over the thought that I am probably not good enough a person for my other half, and why change myself for an uncertain future? Aren't you born this way too? All these thoughts, they led me to one conclusion. That we need to learn to accept someone for who he or she is. Never to let anybody assume that they can change you. And befriend those who can accept you for who you are, your flaws, your race, religion, bad habits, characteristics and lame jokes. Eventually you will know who your real friends are. People who give a hoot about you for who you really are, not what you are expected to be.
Why be someone else and regret later. One part of me is done thinking why my best friend could not accept me for who I am. On one hand he said, "Be who you are, I don't want to change you. You are a great person". On the other, he said, "I thought that with time, I would change your mind and that you would do what I think is best for us." My little brains just couldn't digest the contradicting words and confusion had occupied my head. Hah, writing actually helps.
This is a personal piece so please click the x button if you don't like reading this. Kthxbai!
My version of the 5Bs&Cs - be courageous, be careful (wise!), be comforting, camwhore be calm, and be confident.
Have a good weekend peeps!
