live, love, laugh. Just the way I like it.
Today we were sitting in Ben's (Publika) for the first time. Publika at Solaris Dutamas is slowly becoming everyone's favourite hangout spot and gaining popularity, but we couldn't help but notice that most of the people who shop and go there are families and couples of mixed religion and race as well as the well-to-dos.
Nothing against them but we had this conversation about how judgmental some people can be, including ourselves.
To be honest, you cannot take your eyes off someone who grabs attention right? What more if you notice a boring Chinese girl with an angmoh boyfriend or a Malay guy with a Chindian girlfriend. You'd take a glance (no harm what!) I've been through similar situations and I know exactly how it feels, to be judged going out with someone of a different race but over the years, I stopped noticing the way people stare or look at me just because we were different.
okay the photos are irrelevant.. but gonna upload anyway =P
Anyway, just wanted to share a story that my friend told me this afternoon, in which I think is very sweet but i'm going to change some details but with the same ending rofl.
Let's call the couple Mr.A and Jessica.
Mr. A is a Malay guy in his late 20s who has been dating Jessica, a mid 20s Chinese girl for a couple of years. They both enjoy spending time together, be it with Mr.A's friends or with Jessica's traditional family. Surprisingly everyone got along well and the chemistry between the two was very strong, nothing could come between them. They were the perfect example of love conquers. Confrontations would happen occasionally but having a strong mindset and knowing what they both wanted, which is to be together was enough for them to overcome disagreements.
Mr.A, coming from a conservative Muslim family, had to convince his family, argue his way through and stand firm with his decision to marry Jessica, who was willing to convert and change her name. It was a big decision coming from a traditional family and Jessica, too, had to stand ugly remarks and disapproval from her relatives.
Their relationship had not gained support from a few and fast forward to their wedding day, not many had turned up. Partially disappointed because of the lack of support from their loved ones but both of them were happy nonetheless. The wedding was simple, nothing too over the top. And it was during the exchange of vows that Mr.A said something extremely touching. He said, he knew he was going to marry this girl, who was willing to give up her name and religion for him. Because he knows that this girl has everything to lose by being with him and he, on the other hand, has nothing to lose. And that was enough. He added, "and the rest is up to me to make it work. That is all I need from her and I am going to have to sacrifice for her as much as she does for me."
It was at this point that Jessica knew she hadn't make the wrong decision. Up until today many would ask if she has any regrets. Particularly her decision to convert and marry a Muslim man. Her answer would always be the same, not at all because of the effort and faith that the both of them have to make it work. "Changing my name was nothing compared to the sacrifice he has given me, for allowing me to be myself and for loving me, because Mr.A was the man who stood by her, through thick and thin."
That afternoon, Mr.A ended his speech by thanking the few who turned up at the luncheon. He said, "thank you all for your support. I have gained a partner, a best friend and will make this commitment work, for the rest of my life. My promise to the woman who loves me wholeheartedly for the unique person that I am who is willing to sacrifice herself. I stand here today with this promise to make it work. If anyone of you is going to condemn and disagree I will, with whole of my heart, be through with you."
Jessica (changed name) is a close friend of my friend who told me this story. Today, the couple is blessed with two children and they are still happily together.
Hearing the story was very motivating. And I thought to myself, if only everyone could think this way, the world would be a better and happier place.