Rachel Kristen
live, love, laugh. Just the way I like it.
15 years of conversations.
Our primary school bestie is finally tying the knot. It's not just another wedding, it is going to be our first girlfriend's wedding and also our first Punjabi wedding! The difference is that it is going to last for more than 4 days and there will be a lot of dancing and colourful clothing (saree!!).
When you put a bunch of girls together, we behave like little kids, high school girls.
Can't believe it has been more than 15 years since we've known each other and although we do all the grown up stuff, deep down we're still the little rascals we were back in high school :)
With Michelle and Jasveen.
We met up for dinner so Jasveen could pass us our red envelopes for courtesy sake. But knowing this girl, she's super stressed over preparation for her wedding, the shoes, the dress, the ceremonies but we are extremely excited for her. Imagine, people are already cracking their heads over a one day event (for Chinese/Western), what more a week's worth of celebrations.
She spent almost an hour explaining her culture and the prayers that she will be going through from the Sangeet (bridal shower) to the temple prayers, bracelet ceremony, henna and main wedding dinner plus what she has to do on the morning after, which is to prepare a meal for her in laws.
"How about roti toast and kaya for breakfast?" :P
It is always interesting to learn about the culture and religion of my friends. Unlike Chinese weddings, there will be a lot of dancing and singing!
I also asked her the golden question that everyone's been so curious about. Who's a better choice to ask than your own to-be-married girlfriend you've known for more than a decade.
How did you know that Dev was the one you want to marry?
So slumber. She answered, "we just clicked". Well there's more. (At least she bothered to explain more)
You know when you find someone you can be yourself with. Someone you don't have to convince yourself to like.
Someone you're comfortable with, you fart, be silly, and look ugly and he will still love you beyond your imperfections.
Someone who is willing to stand firm on what he wants and fights for you because he loves you more than anything because at the end of the day, he knows you will be the person he's going to live with the rest of his life. You know you can rely on him and cannot imagine living one day without.
That's the one.
Then we talked about arranged relationships and marriages. She explained how some culture and old folks are still conservative and believe in arranged marriages and partners just because most parents want their children to please their own selfish wishes and some children are blinded enough to convince themselves that it is for the best. We have personally witnessed friends who are betrothed to someone they barely know and are taught they are the 'right' match.
Seriously? Wake up!
If you ask me, we only have ONE life so by hook or by crook, we should never let anybody determine who we should be with and what choices to make in life.
At least one thing I know for sure is that only by deciding for yourself, you can be truly happy and there is no one else but yourself to blame if things don't work out.
Both of us agreed that when we eventually do become a mother one day, we hope that we don't become a mother who ties her child by her feet and controls his or her life. Everyone should be allowed to make their own choices and a chance at true happiness. Why would a mother deny her own child of their happiness, doesn't make sense. We live in a free world plus it is not like the child cannot think and decide for his or her own life right?
My grandparents were a result of an arranged marriage back in the 1930s and I have witnessed for myself that not all things turn out right. At the end of the day, the heart wins.
